“Real Housewives of Atlanta” Recap: Walter Jackson is Kenya Moore’s Shadow

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You know that searing, uncomfortable feeling and taste of stomach acid and partly digested food that comes when you get heartburn? Poor Kenya Moore has been getting repeat bouts of that whenever her ex-boyfriend Walter Jackson is brought up.

You’d think that her fellow “Real Housewives of Atlanta” castmates would be a bit more understanding of the situation, given the public humiliation and embarrassment she suffered as a result of his actions and behavior, but these bitches are shady as hell and would rather watch their so-called friend squirm.

In episode 18 of the fifth season, Kenya has the displeasure of bumping into Walter at an ATL event not once, but twice.

The girls make excuses that Atlanta is small and that Kenya is bound to run into Walter at events around the city. Well, that might be the case, but does he have to be invited to her so-called friends’ events too?

Peter has decided to host some mens’ health awareness event and he decided to invite Walter. Now Peter is kind of excusable because the invite appears to have taken place before it was public knowledge that Kenya and Walter were splitsville.

Mind you, it’s interesting that Peter is even hosting an event around mens’ health, as he is neither a doctor, a nurse, nor a public health professional.

Also, mens’ health is a broad-ass topic. What are they covering specifically at this event? Prostate exams? You know Walter would be the first one to volunteer for his free screening. Kidding! The spirit of Kenya took over my keyboard for a second there.

Anyway, so Walter arrives nice and early to Peter’s event in his suit and tie and proceeds to dap and chat with the fellas.

The reason for Walter’s being there, as Cynthia and Peter continue to reiterate, is because the guys supposedly “bonded” with Walter. Now I’m sure the fellas had a few laughs and chugged a few beers and whatnot, but let’s not act like they struck some unbreakable bond.

They were kicking it with each other in Anguilla because they were there to support their women’s role on a TV show. Nothing more, nothing less.

So let’s not act like this is some strong brotherhood that goes back to high school or something. This ain’t “The Wood.”

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Kenya arrives at the event looking like a Greek goddess in a pure white, drapey dress with a piece of man candy on her arm, ex-ESPN analyst Jamal Anderson.

Some quick Google background research reveals that homeboy has serious financial problems and was busted for cocaine and marijuana use in 2009, which ultimately resulted in his getting fired from ESPN. Boy, Kenya sure knows how to pick ‘em, doesn’t she?

For some reason, although Kenya is quick to smirk and twirl about how her handsome date, she makes it clear that there is nothing romantic about their outing.

OK … what’s with Kenya putting dudes in the friend zone only to come back later and howl about how they’re not sexually attracted to her? She needs to figure out what the hell she wants.

Wasn’t she the one who said she wasn’t gonna be dating just to be dating at her age because she doesn’t have time to waste? Guess that went out the window.

While they’re at the event, Kenya takes great pains to pretend Walter doesn’t exist but she does briefly fret when it’s time to be seated for the event.

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She whispers to Jamal that he should be prepared to be seated next to her ex because she believes Peter is messy enough to do it. Now, truth be told, she’s right, but she ain’t have to go there with Uncle Ben!

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In the end though, her fear was for naught because Walter was seated far away from her at “table oblivion,” as she called it, and the two never clashed the whole night. (Phew!) No harm, no foul.

Well, sort of. While Walter was at Peter’s event, the men asked him if he ever tapped Kenya’s Miss USA’s booty while they were in Anguilla, and Walter said that he didn’t because she was too old for him.

What in the fuck? Kenya might not be 24 but she’s still pretty fine by most men’s standards.

Furthermore, if you weren’t interested in having sex with her because of her age, why the hell were you on that trip with her, and why the hell was he even entertaining talks of marriage and meeting Kenya’s family as a man who appeared to be romantically interested in her?

Walter can bash Kenya all he wants and claim that she hired him to be a fake boyfriend, but he’s looking more and more like the fame-hungry, dishonest charlatan she painted him out to be.

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While Kenya took Walter’s appearance in stride at Peter’s event, she didn’t take it so smoothly when she headed to Kandi’s housewarming party and caught wind of the fact that Walter was there as well.

When Kandi pulls Kenya aside to tell her about Walter being there, she doesn’t even wait to hear Kandi’s explanation; she just takes off and doesn’t look back. She calls him a stalker and you know what? She’s right.

Walter being at the charity event is one thing, but Kandi inviting Walter to her house for a housewarming is an entirely different thing. The ladies can claim that Walter is bound to attend the same events as them, but inviting a man who spurned your friend publicly should be out of bounds.

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Kandi claims that she didn’t invite him and believes that her boyfriend Todd must have. She then vigorously defends the fact that Walter was there anyway.

It’s her’s, Todd’s and Riley’s house and they can have whoever they want there. Um, yes, but I bet Kandi wouldn’t feel too pleased if Kenya invited her former Xscape bandmate and archenemy LaTocha Scott to her masquerade ball, now would she?

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To add salt to the wound, Walter has brought along a date who looks like a fifth-year college student named Temecia (I don’t know if that’s how it’s spelled so I’m just rolling the dice).

Ol’ girl was looking young, dumb and out of place at Kandi’s event and Walter’s rude ass left her hanging nearly the whole night while he hobnobbed with the husbands and chit-chatted with the RHOA ladies.

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He was chuckling and throwing it back with Phaedra like his damn name was Dwight Eubanks.

What’s Walter’s motive for hanging on to the RHOA crew for real? Didn’t he say he just pretended to be Kenya’s boyfriend to help her out? Now that their arrangement has imploded, what’s he still hanging around for?

Yeah, too many questions and not enough answers about this shady character. And the fact that he showed zero chemistry with Temecia, who Peter hilariously mistakenly referred to as “Clemecia,” shows that Kenya wasn’t the only problem in their relationship.

Whatever is going on with Walter, he needs to clear the air and explain himself. His story about him doing Kenya a favor really doesn’t hold water at this point and it’s clear that he’s angling for the spotlight since he’s publicly complained on Twitter about not being invited to the reunion.

In the words of Lil’ Kim, “Get your own shit, why you ridin’ mine?”